Mindfulness Mode
 

Mindfulness Mode

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Increase your calm, focus and happiness so you can be more relaxed, contented and satisfied with your life. For business, entrepreneurs, educators, parents. Hosted by Bruce Langford.

Episodes

283 Move Your Integrity To The Next Level With Robert Kandell

Jan 2, 2018

Jan 2, 2018

29 min

Hailed as “part football coach, part loving dad, and part slightly crazed drill sergeant” Robert Kandell has spent the last sixteen years helping people re-energize their lives and build better relationships through more honest and authentic connection. In 2004, he co-founded OneTaste and took on the challenging task of bringing conscious sexuality to the mainstream market. He built the company from scratch to a high seven-figure international corporation. He left OneTaste in 2014 to start his own Consulting firm helping small businesses become marketable and profitable. Robert is also an accomplished teacher, coach, and lecturer. He brings his enthusiasm and acumen to his weekly podcast, Tuff Love, on subjects around relationships, intimacy, communication and gender dynamics.

Contact Info

  • Website: www.TuffLove.live
  • Podcast: Tuff Love

Most Influential Person

  • My students and my children.

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has affected my emotions ... I have them now. Growing up, emotions were secondary. Mindfulness has connected me to my emotions. Emotions are my power. They are my superpower actually, because then I can feel and notice other people.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I've done a lot of sitting meditation in my life and knowing the power breath, also Yoga and the 'suffering' in a hot Yoga class. Ok, find your breath.
  • My ability to pay attention to my breath, connect me to my body and I can slow down and adjust and find the optimal pose.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I have so many bullying stories. Bullying is something I'm very familiar with. I mentioned I was an overweight kid growing up and I was bullied by my school mates. The bullying ended when I was fourteen or fifteen. Really from ten to fifteen year old, I was bullied.
  • My middle name is Barry and they would call me Barrier  and they would taunt me. For whatever reason kids bully, there was some thing that happened which made me the object of their bullying.
  • In retrospect and in talking to a lot of people who were bullied, and a lot of bullies out there in the world, the main reason they did that was fear and their own lack of disconnection. My opinion is that bullying happened because bullies feel disconnected from their parents, from themselves, and there's some pain in there that needs to be expressed.
  • What they choose is to bully another kid rather than address their own pain. Mindfulness would be for the parents to notice that about their kids. Or even the Principal or school Councils, to notice that about kids and just sit with the bully and not shame them for being a bully. Not shame them for what they do, but get curious and wonder and question and allow that space for that bully kid to be seen and loved and approved of.
  • I think that is the cure for bullying; when we give someone space to speak and relieve their own pain.

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282 Learn To Retain Your Power With Misfit Entrepreneur Host Dave Lukas

Dec 27, 2017

Dec 27, 2017

38 min

Dave Lukas is an entrepreneur, father, and fitness enthusiast. His successful business, Grasp Technologies got off the ground with what Dave calls, our rag-tag crew of Misfits. Dave realized that we all have an inner misfit, an inner genius, maybe even a hidden genius that is in every single leader, employee, and even you. If only you can unpack that inner Misfit. Around 4 years ago, Dave and his wife traveled to China to meet and bring home their daughter, Hannah Jade. In his own words; it was a surreal and humbling experience. Around the same time, Dave decided to start his own Inner Misfit Podcast, where he would not only interview outstanding individuals with hidden misfit genius, he would also publish episodes where he would directly speak to his daughter, offering advice and wisdom she and others could refer to at any time. Now Dave enjoys life as a grateful, caring father as well as a successful entrepreneur and podcaster.

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Most Influential Person

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has effected my emotions in that, I've learned to control my emotions a lot better.
  • When I was younger I used to be very quick-tempered and very quick to react to things. Later I would know that it wasn't the right reaction.
  • So learning to control in the moment (and some of that is your conditioning too), but learned to control in the moment and stop yourself, I have a process I call, "Stop, Ask, Choose". Stop yourself, ask yourself how you want to respond in that situation, and then choose the right path forward.
  • I've conditioned myself to do that in a split second over the years for decisions, so it's made a big difference.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Every morning I have an exercise that I call "My Daily Prime". It takes about ten minutes. I make sure nothing's on, it's dark, I'm by myself, nobody's usually up.
  • So I take the time to center myself, breathing, three or four minutes. Just to breathe in deep and get calm and clear in my head.
  • Then I write the three things I'm grateful for on that day and sometimes they're very deep, and sometimes it's about the beautiful morning, whatever comes to me.
  • From there I write down my "Three To Thrive". Those are my three things that are the most important I can do for the day.
  • For instance for today it was this interview. I wanted to make the most out of it for you and for your audience and to be present.
  • Then I end it with some deep breaths and visioning for the day, what I'm going to accomplish and then I get started.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • Bullying is an interesting thing. It's hard to answer that question now because of what I've learned over the years. It's like anything; you choose whether something affects you or not.
  • This is from a mental standpoint; from a physical standpoint it is a completely different thing. If somebody's punching you in the face every day, that's a different thing.
  • The key is to understand that you're only affected by the things you let yourself be effected by. You have that control. The minute you seed that control to someone, a bully, anyone, then you lose your power and you give it up.
  • It's naturally yours, for you as an individual.
  • With that being said, I do have an interesting story.
  • Early on, when I was in Kindergarten or first grade, in my neighborhood there was another boy who was bigger than me. His older brother rode the bus every day.
  • When we got off the bus, his brother would make us fight. The interesting thing was, that myself and the other boy had been friends because we went to the same pre-school together.
  • Everyday he would make us fight and we would go round and round in circles and it was kind of the older brother who was the bully on both of us, making us fight. We did that for some time.
  • We were actually best friends. He was the best man at my wedding.
  • From a mindfulness standpoint, if we had both banded together and stood up to the brother and had the wherewithall and the mindfulness, the emotional intelligence to say, 'we're going to choose not to do this and you can't make us'.
  • There was really nothing he could have done. That would have ended it pretty fast and he wouldn't have done that any more.
  • That's an example of what I could have done if I had had that emotional intelligence or awareness and being conscious in that way to make a difference. You can use that across any situation as you get older. It happens in business a lot too.
  • People try to throw their weight around. We deal with some of the largest corporations in the world and when it comes to negotiating things, they're a big company. So this is how it's going to be.
  • It takes a lot of courage to say, that is not how we work, so that's not how it will be or we're not going to do business together. I think people respect that, if it's done tactfully and done in the right way.

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281 Get Some Good With Good Radio Network Founder, Frankie Picasso

Dec 24, 2017

Dec 24, 2017

30 min

Frankie Picasso is an International SocialPreneur, Talk Show Host, and Champion for Change who has been transforming lives and influencing culture for the past 30 years. Professionally, she is a Certified Life, Business and Master Coach Trainer, Author, Artist, Activist and Philanthropist in training, who just happens to specialize in the Impossible! As the founder of The Good Radio Network, (TGRN) Frankie is the host of Mission Unstoppable Radio, FrankieSense & More Radio. Everything that Frankie is involved in, has Social Impact built in. TGRN is one vehicle for social impact and her artwork is another. As a professional Artist, Frankie’s paintings have been featured in the International Book of Contemporary Artists Volume 6 and can be found on Fine Art America, Frankie’s book Midlife Mojo won her recognition and the Finalist WINNER award as one of the “50 Great Writers you should be Reading in 2015!” She is also a Huffington post contributor, and a member of the Women’s Economic Council and the Evolutionary Business Council.

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Most Influential Person

  • My dad
  • Nigel Varty (Mountain Climber)

Effect on Emotions

  • I've learned to respond versus react. I learn to ask myself, who am I? In that I get to create the person I want to be in the world.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I'm not very good at it. I try to do the slow breathing. I don't know why I don't want to take a full breath. I'm lazy.
  • I have tried all the mindfulness techniques of breathing. Especially as a hypnotherapist I learn all these things.
  • I do try to take that earth breath. When you need to get calm, I take this big earth breath; in for seven and out for ten. It does ground you. That is a good technique. I think it's a Hawaiian technique.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I've got two stories. I'm going to tell you a story from a female perspective.
  • I bullied myself and it wasn't until maybe five years ago that I realized. I remember one day when I was so mean to myself; my thoughts were so mean.
  • I screamed at myself out loud to 'stop it'. I said, 'you would never say that to anyone else. Why are you saying that to you? I know you would never, ever say those words to anyone else, living or dead, so stop it.'
  • I think especially woman, as it relates to our bodies, we are very cruel to ourselves. We give ourselves cruel messages all the time and we need to stop doing it. The only way to do that is to be mindful and to hear the words that we're saying. It stopped. Now when they come up, I say, no, no, no.
  • When you stop and you hear your thought and you go, do I believe that? We don't often question our beliefs.
  • As coaches, that's one of the first things we do with people. We say, what do you believe. In the spiritual terms and the law of attraction, what you believe is what shows up in your life. If you don't have the things that you think you want, it's because you don't believe in them. That's another story.
  • That's a really interesting way to look at bullying, but we do bully ourselves. The second story is, I was married to an abusive alcoholic. He was abusive emotionally and physically. He was a bully.
  • He was my second husband. He wasn't my children's dad. If I were to kiss my boys goodnight, he would call them girls. That is a form of bullying.
  • When it got so bad that I thought my oldest would get between us and hit him, I just stopped that right in it's tracks because I was afraid that he would have a record (my son) and he would never be able to do what he wanted to do in his life.
  • Second Story. After my accident and I was in the hospital, I had a lawyer and he was extremely mean to me.
  • This is a story about how I learned to respond instead of react. He would have me in tears, he would send me nasty letters.
  • I thought, wait a minute, you work for me. It was a big case and he was crazy, but I had a really good friend who had the same lawyer and he was so nice to him. I thought, why is he so mean to me? Does he not like girls? What is it?
  • Eventually, he got fired, but I learned that I didn't have to accept that. I learned that I could choose not to open those letters. I could choose to do things that made me feel better.
  • I want everyone to know that that's your choice. You can choose to react or you can choose to respond.

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280 Focus on Health First Says Organik Founder Scott Simons

Dec 20, 2017

Dec 20, 2017

35 min

Scott is an Ecopreneur meaning he puts people, purpose and the planet before profit. Scott’s mission is to inspire a daily practice of health. To fulfill this mission, he created three social businesses. In 2004, he co-founded the Padua Centre, a community wellness. In 2006, he cofounded DESTA Black Youth Network, helping marginalized youth aged 18 to 25 get back on track. In 2006, Scott founded Organik a wellness broker company. Scott is also a yoga teacher, personal trainer and health coach since 2006. According to Scott, his greatest source of inspiration is found in his daily practice of health.

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Most Influential Person

  • Steve Sims / Jon Kabat-Zinn

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness helps calm down my emotions. It's hard to slow down the reaction. The reaction is always going to be there, we want it to be there; the fight or flight.
  • Mindfulness has created a bit more space between the reaction and the response. Initially it went from one second to [longer].
  • Now if someone cuts me off on the highway, I can see the emotion come up. Emotions are beautiful, it's just how we deal with them that's the problem or the solution.
  • I'll see the anger coming up and I'll choose my reaction much more now. I used to be much more reactive and I could get mad very quickly.
  • I could be explosive at times but now I've calmed that down and created the space between the reaction and the response.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • The foundation to optimal health is breathing and more specifically conscious breathing. We breathe about 20,000 times a day. How many of those are unconscious?
  • Really, the link between relaxation and stress is one conscious breath. I'd say, at the foundation of my meditation practice, and even before that, is the breath practice. It's to just catch myself in any situation. It's pretty much the informal meditation practice.
  • When I'm driving, I'll come back to the breath. When meeting with a client or in my yoga classes I'll come back to the breath as much as possible. Just to know that I'm responding from there and not reacting from the ego.
  • The breath is the most effective tool to tame the ego, to tame the mind. Instead of that mind being an enemy, or a mean voice in your head, it can become your ally, your best friend, your consultant.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I was born in Quebec City, a very French city. I only learned French when I was thirteen. I knew a bit of French, but I went from English elementary school, to French high school.
  • Back then, being the English kid and coming from a big English family, I was an easy target to laugh at with my French accent.
  • I never got bullied in terms of physicalness but in terms of laughing at my language, that happened a lot. It would really get me to react in the beginning. I would take it very personally.
  • It took me years before I learned not to take my French accent personally. Now I just accept it and I speak much better French.
  • In the beginning, that's where people would pick on me the most. Normally the bullying would make me more more shy and I wouldn't speak as much. Sports really helped me out.
  • I got really good in basketball and I got more and more friends. I got more respect through the sports and people wouldn't laugh at me as much. I was six foot three [inches] and a bit taller than the others so I could defend myself. I think with the practice of getting better and better at French, as people were getting to know me they didn't pick on me as much. In the beginning, it wasn't super rough but it wasn't an easy ride either.

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279 Do More With Less; Discover The Simple Life With Courtney Carver

Dec 17, 2017

Dec 17, 2017

27 min

Courtney Carver is an advocate for the simple life. She says, we are often on a quest for more; we give in to pressure every day to work more, own more, and do more. For Courtney, this constant striving had to come to a stop when she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Stress was like gasoline on the fire of symptoms, and it became clear that she needed to root out the physical and psychological clutter that were the source of her debt and discontent. Courtney shows us how to pursue practical minimalism so we can create more with less—more space, more time, and even more love. Carver invites us to look at the big picture, discover what’s most important to us, and reclaim lightness and ease by getting rid of all the excess things.

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Most Influential Person

  • My daughter.

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has encouraged me to under-react, which has been a game-changer.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I use breathing for everything. When I breathe during meditation practices, I breathe in traffic. I breathe intentionally when I have MRI's to check my brain out. It just helps me slow everything down.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I feel really grateful that, while growing up, I didn't experience any bullying and in most of my relationships, not.
  • I was married in my twenties for seven years and there was a lot of bullying. It was a really bad situation for a long time and mindfulness wasn't part of my life then and neither was simplicity.
  • I was really stressed out and I know for a fact that I could have handled things differently. I don't think I would have over-reacted or reacted the way that I did in certain situations and I would have known myself better, had I been more mindful.
  • I wouldn't have thought that, the things my exhusband would say about me or accuse me of, I would know that wasn't about me, that was about him.
  • I wouldn't have tried to change myself to be someone different to fit. Instead I would have just not reacted and let him change or walk away.
  • Instead I really tried to hold on, to fix myself. I really took everything he said to heart and now I can look back and say, it had nothing to do with me.
  • It could have been anyone in that situation and it still wouldn't have worked out.

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278 The Unified Mindfulness Approach with Julianna Raye

Dec 13, 2017

Dec 13, 2017

37 min

Julianna co-founded and runs UnifiedMindfulness.com. With 17 years of experience, she has trained thousands of people in groups and individually. Julianna was drawn to mindfulness 20 years ago, to manage severe anxiety and depression as well as the dramatic emotional ups and downs of life as a professional singer/songwriter. With over 100 weeks of immersive silent retreat training in both mindfulness and zen, Julianna has racked up 12,000 plus hours of formal practice time, rewiring her brain and creating a new normal for herself. The result is exponential growth and the ability to truly be of service to her clients.

Contact Info

Most Influential Person

  • Shinzen Young (A monk)

Effect on Emotions

  • It accentuates the positive, makes me a much happier person, and its made me much more able to process challenging emotions when they come up. So I'm much more resilient overall.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • The breath is a place that is often a good place for people to start.
  • In fact, at the very beginning, before I was introduced to Shinzen, breath was the first place I started.
  • I focused on the tip of the nose, but I like to teach people how anything at all can be a focus in meditation, because that frees people up.
  • What we want is to motivate people. We want them to get engaged in this practice.
  • So, I like to introduce people to a technique that right off the bat shows them how they can focus on anything.
  • As long as they're developing skills of concentration, clarity, and equanimity, they are practicing mindfulness and are getting those benefits that research has shown they can get.

Suggested Resources

  • Book: The Science of Enlightenment: How Meditation Works by Shinzen Young
  • App: Brightmind

Bullying Story

  • I was bullied as a kid. When I was about twelve an incident happened where these two boys decided that I had done something at a birthday party, that I had said something that got someone into trouble.
  • They decided that I needed to be punished for that. So for a month or two after that, every time they saw me in the halls, they would kick me as hard as they could.
  • I was terrified. I changed my pattern so that I could avoid them. I rearranged the whole pattern of where I was going. To get from class A to class B, instead of just going up the stairs, I would go down to the basement and around, so I would miss the boys kicking me.
  • I would go to school everyday and would think about the fact that I was going to have to see these boys. I really felt terrorized by them.
  • The day that it finally shifted, was the day that I shifted. I dropped into a natural state that shifted everything.
  • These [mindfulness] skills are naturally occuring. We all know what it's like to be in a heightened state of mindfulness. We've all had some kind of peak experience where there's a level of clarity there.
  • Where we're deeply absorbed, we're concentrating fully. We have a sense of harmony or we have a sense of willingness for things to be as they are and that's the overriding experience.
  • All we're saying with mindfulness is that you can strengthen that. You can experience it with greater regularity and greater depth.
  • Looking back on that event [with the bullies], there came this moment where I didn't run from it any more. I became willing to turn toward it and I remember vividly.
  • I chose the route where I knew I was going to pass them because it was the shortest route to my class and I didn't want to run anymore so I started up the steps.
  • As they were coming toward me, I saw this kid, Bert. He was gearing up to kick me as hard as he could. I found myself saying, "ok you wanna kick me? Go ahead, kick me."
  • In that moment he was totally nonplussed. He stopped and he never did it again. It was because of the way I went into it. I just went into it with an absolute fierce willingness that I was not going to be intimidated and that I was going to stand my ground.
  • So whatever came out of my mouth, (go ahead and kick me), that wasn't the point. The point was that I managed to fully embrace where I was at and that strength of anchoring myself in my complete willingness. It just blew him out of the water.

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277 Managing Stage Fright with Mindfulness; Julie Jaffee Nagel

Dec 10, 2017

Dec 10, 2017

33 min

Dr. Julie Jaffee Nagel is a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst. As a concert pianist with two degrees from the Juilliard School of Music in New York City, Dr. Nagel repeatedly experienced stage fright and performance stress.   She eventually decided to gain a more thorough understanding of what interfered with doing what she loved and was trained to do. That’s when she returned to school at The University of Michigan and graduated with degrees in Social Work and a Ph.D. in psychology. Now she has treated hundreds of individuals and helped them discover and peel back their barriers to feeling competent so that they can pursue and fulfill their professional and personal dreams. Dr. Nagel has recently published a book called, Managing Stage Fright: A Guide for Musicians and Music Teachers.

Contact Info

Most Influential Person

  • My Grandfather

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has helped me understand myself and feel good with myself despite some of the harsh winds that have blown and will continue to blow. I can go inside my mind.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Breathing simmers me down; deep breathing, slow breathing. Thinking about the breathing and trying to know that I have resources in myself and that breathing will simmer me down when I'm boiling over.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • Stage fright is a bully in itself. Stage fright is a bully that makes competent people feel like they're incompetent. I think bullies tend to do that.
  • Whatever we can do; whatever technique or therapy works for an individual to help build a strong sense of self and self-esteem so that these bullies, whether they come from inside your mind or from some person at school or at work, that we can withstand that because we have a sense of self that says, I'm not going to allow myself to be treated that way.
  • I'm not buying into what you're saying about me. I think that mindfulness; if you can think of yourself as successful and competent.
  • It's kind of like developing a sensitivity to, that's not my problem, that's the bully's problem and then to be able to speak up and find help whether you're a child or an adult.
  • If you can't simmer yourself down to the point that you do believe in yourself, then hopefully you can find someone who can help you.
  • I think stage fright is a giant bully that can undermine the more competent, talented, prepared person. We can help innoculate people to dealing with that kind of a bully.

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276 Bottom-Line Success Using Mindfulness with Leadership Expert Susan Blais

Dec 6, 2017

Dec 6, 2017

31 min

Susan Blais is a leadership coach on a mission to transform the world of work one leader at a time. She made the long climb from receptionist to CEO of a billion-dollar division of a Fortune 100 company over 26 years in the health insurance industry. She helps leaders understand and implement the critical balance between relationships and results, so they can unleash their people's talents to achieve bottom-line success and fulfillment for all.

Contact Info

Most Influential Person

  • Roy Masters

Effect on Emotions

  • It has leveled them out. I can be radically up and down and all around and I have, because of that practice, been able to get much more centered and calm. The highs and lows are more moderate instead of crazy.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Because I tend to do everything quickly, in the old days I would want to skip the warmup and go right to the workout. I think, oh yeah, breathing.
  • I have come to appreciate how powerful it really is and that's one of the techniques I use with my clients when they start getting upset.
  • I say, let's take a minute here and take a couple of deep breaths. It's amazing how the simple act of taking a quiet calm breath or two or three can change your whole outlook.

Suggested Resources

Opening Quote

  • You can go into that refuge and have a place of calm so that no matter what life throws at you, you can handle it with grace, with calm, and with quiet. - Susan Blais

Bullying Story

  • One of the CEO's that I worked for; it was one of those situations where I was the golden girl for the first few months that I came in and I was doing all these amazing things.
  • I was brought in to start a new division and was making great gains and doing all kinds of wonderful things and at a certain point I crossed him by inadvertently telling the truth to the chairman of the board when I guess I was supposed to massage the message a little bit in a different way and I saw it happen.
  • I thought to myself, uh oh, I'm in trouble. And from that day on, for the next two years, he bullied me horribly, doing things like: embassassing me, calling me out in front of my team, having conference calls with my peers, and just treating me as if I was an idiot. All kinds of things like that where it was just miserable.
  • That kind of behavior destroys people. Unfortunately, it really does. It really bothered me. I was going to quit but then fortunately the company was acquired and I got to cash out in a much more positive way.
  • But I was going to leave because I realized that I was not being my best. If you bully people, and try to beat them down; guess what? Their performance goes down. It's like, we're going to beat people into success? That doesn't work very well.
  • I definitely used elements of mindfulness during those years to keep myself strong. I used my Roy Masters meditation; you can do it in seven minutes. I would do it several times a day.
  • I'd have to go into my office and calm down, because I would be upset coming from a meeting with him where I had just had my head beaten in, figuratively, and now I'm going to meet with my team. So I've got to get myself together.
  • I'd go into my office for a few minutes and calm down, get myself back on center and then go out to them.
  • That's another critical thing that happens in organizations is, you have the waterfall. It starts at the top, the head person beats on the next level, and they beat on the next level, and they beat on the next level.
  • I used to literally have an image of an umbrella and I would say, "no, it stops here. I don't care what you do to me, I'm not going to treat my people that way."
  • I always treated my people well. We had our own little corner of the world that was fun and functioning and positive. But that took a lot of effort and mindfulness to do that because I would have to bring myself back to center before I interacted with them again.

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275 Love-Based Business Explained by Author, Michele (PW) Pariza Wacek

Dec 3, 2017

Dec 3, 2017

30 min

Michele PW (Pariza Wacek) is the best-selling author of the "Love-Based Business" series of books that share how to sell more with love and build a solid, profitable business on a foundation of love. In addition, she owns a copywriting and marketing company along with writing and publishing fiction. To grab your free book "How to Start a Business You Love AND That Loves You Back," visit LoveBasedBiz.com

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Most Influential Person

  • Christina Rio, My Spiritual Mentor

Effect on Emotions

  • Because of mindfulness, the vast majority of the time I feel inner peace. It's like a contented feeling. Sometimes fear-based emotions will come up and sometimes I'm also full of happy or joy. For the most part, mindfulness has allowed me to live my life in an even keel where I feel peaceful and contented. I think that's what a lot of people would like.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • So many of us do shallow breathing. The problem with those shallow chest breathings is that it's not very good for your physiology. Focus on the belly breath. Even just putting your hands there gives you something else to focus on. It's a lot better for you as you go through it.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I was horribly bullied as a child. In elementary school, in middle school, and even my first job I was bullied. It was both boys and girls, mostly girls though.
  • My boss was a woman who was really bad about it. Yes, I do think knowing mindfulness would have helped. You can actually change your environment when you change yourself. I know that my reaction caused it to get worse.
  • If I had simply just stood there and didn't react to what they were doing, they would have left me alone. That's what the key is. They were preying off me crying and getting more upset and off of me just not knowing what to do.
  • That's where they're getting their power from. If you don't give them the reaction they're looking for, then they have no power over you and they likely will find somewhere else to go. Because I had such a strong 'only-child'. My mom didn't go to a lot of play dates. This is absolutely not my mom's faulth.
  • I don't remember having friends my age until I was older, school-age, like five, six, seven. I know I had trouble dealing with social situations. I think that's what made me a target.
  • Over the years I learned how to read social situations better. I slowly learned how not to put myself in the situation where bullying would happen.

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274 Mind, Body, and Spirit With Fibernetics Co-Founder John Stix

Nov 29, 2017

Nov 29, 2017

47 min

John Stix is a transformation specialist. John co-founded Fibernetics; the 5th largest telecommunications company in Canada. He has implemented a holistic shift in culture, strategy and values-based actions within the company. John credits his personal transformation with enabling him to lead his company through a significant shift in mentalities.

John’s success with workplace culture and helping others discover the same journey for themselves, has led him to consulting and speaking across the world. While continuing to lead his organization and build several others, John has delivered keynote speeches at venues from private insurance firms to a group on behalf of the White House.

John witnessed the positive change that occurred within his own company when he decided to focus on unity, teamwork, empathy, happiness and gratitude. After introducing his “I’M IN™” corporate initiative, John received the Best Employer Branding award in 2015 from the Canadian Human Resources Association and was also a finalist for Leader of the Year.

As an entrepreneur, John has been a visionary, thought leader and mentor taking start-ups to enterprise level organizations and figuring out innovative ways to keep all employees highly engaged, through all stages of growth and transformation. John’s most recent venture as president of KidsWifi, is allowing him to transform the way parents view the internet and to protect kids globally while online. John’s plan to deeply care and empower employees and allow them to be their true selves, not only translated into a passion, but to happiness. Happiness then led to productivity and productivity led to the results.

Contact Info

Most Influential Person

  • Jody Schnarr (My business partner and best friend since I was sixteen.)

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has allowed me to be able to understand what deeply matters to me because mindfulness to me is connected to the inward journey. Without living inward, how can you find out what truly matters to you?
  • It’s almost like, over time we’re become numb within all of the pattern and busyness that we think is living. That’s through no fault of who we are, that’s society, it’s busy. It’s going to be for the rest of my life and I think for all of us for the rest of our lives.
  • Mindfulness for me has allowed me to feel what truly matters to myself as an individual more and have the confidence and understanding on how to process those feelings and communicate them and live my life within them.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • When I practice prayer, (my own ways of being mindful), that peaceful area and then focusing on the peace inside me, my breathing changes. Throughout the day, if you really could look at your breathing, I think it’s safe to say we all shallow breathe. We’re breathing rapid, not deep.
  • I notice that when I enter into a really peaceful, mindful state, my lungs fill up. I’m not even planning for it. I breathe deeper. I feel wholistically more relaxed.
  • Sometimes I use breathing techniques to try to center back to breathing. I think breathing and mindfulness is so connected. There’s tremendous anxious wisdom embedded within all of the yoga teachings and yogi teachings.
  • Breathing techniques and understanding the power and importance of proper breathing seems to be incredibly important.

Suggested Resources

  • Book: N/A
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Bullying Story

  • Being bullied comes in so many different forms. Sometimes the verbal accusations can be so terrible.
  • I remember as a young boy, not confident in who I was, like any young child trying to figure out their place within schools. I moved around a lot.
  • At the one school I was going to, I remember this one individual for whatever reason didn’t like me and wanted to focus on me as an individual that they thought they could bully me.
  • If I would have known more of these types of thoughts of how I could take time to be in a state of peace or to try to find these centering moments, even as a younger boy. I think a lot of this stuff, mindfulness techniques, but also the understanding that for children, their own way of mindfulness is important so that they don’t feel intimidated by techniques.
  • That would have gone a long way to helping me stay in a peaceful state through these sets of experiences.
  • I believe within mindfulness you can also think of a tremendous amount of solutions to your problems. Because you’re in a peaceful state and your mind works much better in that peaceful state.
  • That would have helped me try to figure out as a young boy, how I can also come up with solutions to help me understand the problem I was in. Thankfully what happened was, love ended up dominating that and we became friends. A peaceful state ended up emerging from what was looking to be a terrible state.

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