262 How A Visual Artist Lives Mindfulness; Clay Stapleford

October 19, 2017

Clay Stapleford is a full-time professional artist, living in Atlanta, Georgia. He is also a successful actor, having been featured in multiple Hollywood productions including Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues and Drop Dead Diva. As an aartist, he spends his time painting primarily using acrylic on canvas. Clay has a journalism degree from the University of North Carolina and is also an avid meditator.

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Most Influential Person

  • Eckhart Tolle

Effect on Emotions

  • [Mindfulness has made a difference by] learning to experience my emotions without judgment and just allowing them to be what they are and learning to be educated by my emotions too. Then learning the difference between my feelings and my emotions and how when I have learned to experience my emotions without judgment, I can then learn better how to follow my feelings in a way that serves me.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I often just count my breath. I mean whether I'm on a walk or a run, when I'm painting, when I'm meditating.
  • That's the first place I go to to get in ... if I feel I'm scattered in some way. It's the first exercise I jump to to bring myself into the moment, is to count my breath.
  • I've done some breathing meditation, some guided breathing meditations where some pretty intense stuff has happened which is kind of cool.
  • There was this one intense one where there was an hour long breathing meditation and this I had never experienced before. Halfway through it, my body began to seize up from my toes upward.
  • Literally, it was almost like in The Matrix where he takes the pill and you can see in his body where he began to go to that other realm and it would kind of take over.
  • It was almost like I was going paralyzed but I could still feel but I couldn't move. They called it lobster hand. I literally seized up through this breathing meditation.
  • I later found out it was just pent up energy that had never had anywhere to go. So it took about 15 or 20 minutes for all feeling and movement to come back after this breathing meditation.
  • When it happened, it was like, what in the world is going on right now. It was so intense. Lying there and not being able to move. It wasn't a scary thing; it didn't produce fear, it produced wonder.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • Especially in today's discussion about ... a lot of things come to mind but ... I bartended for many years as well prior to working in sales.
  • As an actor in LA and then here in Atlanta ... with all the stuff going on today there'd be times where I'd see ... I have a pretty thick skin and people don't often offend me very much. It takes a lot to get under my skin but if I see other people being harassed it will kind of rile me up a little bit.
  • Working in the restaurant business and the bars, a lot of times women can be taken advantage of or harassed in many ways.
  • I remember one time specifically where one of our waitresses was being harassed across the bar and spoken to in a very poor manner - sexually explicit and demeaning and I literally was aghast at it and I lost my mindfulness and I took him aside and kicked him out.
  • I think what mindfulness allows us the opportunity to do is to slow things down and to understand how we are affected and affecting others and had this particular guy just took a moment to just slow down and just think what he was saying.
  • I think if you slow somebody like that down they would be contrite and somewhat understand. It's unfortunate.
  • Anytime that folks bully or try to lure their power over someone, it's the exact opposite of mindfulness.
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261 Mindfulness, Quantum Physics and Healing With Dr. Anastasia Chopelas

October 16, 2017

Dr. Anastasia Chopelas’ unusual combination of scientific curiosity and heritage as a 4th generation healer makes her uniquely qualified to understand the subtle energies that promote or deteriorate health, success and relationships. She retired from a 40 year career as a physicist and researcher studying quantum and vibrational physics to become The Scientific Healer. Her processes are responsible for hundreds of medical miracles, some of which are outlined in her book, The Diamond Healing Method. Dr. Anastasia’s scientific background enables her to explain energy healing in simple practical terms, to make everyday miracles believable.

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Most Influential Person

  • My Sunday School Teacher: When I was in Sunday School I had a really awesome teacher who, when she talked, I used to be completely fascinated. She had this really peaceful demeanour about her and she was very deeply devout. Just by that connection with her, we were friends for 40 years. She really influenced me from a very young age.

Effect on Emotions

  •  I don't have explosive emotions, like I know what I'm feeling.
  • When I get angry I can feel it but I don't explode out. I start thinking, what is it about them that's making me angry because it's usually about me so I know that I usually turn it back in and ask myself what am I doing that is making me angry because that person is doing it.
  • I look at it like that person is showing a mirror to me.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I take deep breaths every day because it brings me into the moment.
  • So many of us are stuck and this used to be me sometimes when it was bad: stuck about worrying or shame and guilt of the past and worrying about the future.
  • When you start breathing deeply, at least when I do, I breathe deeply all the way down into my belly.
  • I use my belly and I imagine the air is going all the way down into my toes. As soon as I get into that breathing, it brings me right into the moment and I stop.
  • It brings me away from the past and away from the future and into the now. Then I ask myself, how am I doing right now and that really settles everything down.

Suggested Resources

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260 Master Your Key Relationships With Majeed Mogharreban

October 12, 2017

Majeed Mogharreban is a professional speaker, author and entrepreneur. After starting five businesses before he turned 21, Majeed now helps companies succeed faster with the entrepreneurial mindset. He is known for being an energizing keynote speaker who empowers audiences to take action. His unique perspective on business leadership has taken him across the globe; guiding organizations such as World Wildlife Fund, Toyota, Vanguard, and Loblaw Inc. to achieve more, faster. His story-filled talks demonstrate how to use an enthusiastic start-up spirit to improve the working climate in the corporate world.

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Most Influential Person

  • My wife. She is a model of blissful presence; contentment in the moment.

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has allowed me to use my emotions as information signals and data by being curious and present.
  • [It takes me to the place of 'oh, I'm experiencing anger right now', instead of having the instinctive reaction of, "I'm angry, I'm going to go break some dishes", or "I'm going to go yell at somebody".
  • Just that split second realization of, "Oh, I'm experiencing an emotion, this is information for me. What should I do with it?" [This] versus allowing my emotions to control my body.
  • I think mindfulness gives me that power.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I learned this thing about breathing. It's amazing.
  • When we're being hunted by a predator, as cavemen, we drop our breathing really shallow so we can't be heard and so we can hear better.
  • When we're totally cool and relaxed and the birds are chirping and the water's going by breathe deeply.
  • So when we breathe deeply, we telling our body there's no predator there and I believe that's the fastest and easiest and cheapest way to get instantly mindful.
  • Take a deep breath and you're already there.

Suggested Resources

  • Book: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
  • App: Calm

Bullying Story

  • I don't think that I was bullied when I was a kid. I had a pretty strong mindset; a pretty strong attitude.
  • I think what is really more of a present feeling in my childhood and now, is the pressure to be normal; the pressure to be like everybody else.
  • When you're an outlier; a high performer, you are by nature different than most people and you make other people uncomfortable.
  • So what I was able to do successfully was find other highly driven people so that I was normal amongst my peers.
  • But what I found I received some criticism for was ambition and drive and being teased for being so focused on accomplishment and not doing what I thought the cool kids were doing.
  • They were skipping class, doing drugs, being bullies, and being jocks, and I was kind of envious of their coolness while I was studying and getting good grades.
  • What I've always felt, that the pressure is to try to be normal, and what I found the solution is, to make my normal high performance. I do feel normal amongst my tribe.
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259 Discover Your Deepest Desires Alongside Moustafa Hamwi

October 9, 2017

Moustafa Hamwi is recognized as the world’s leading expert on Passionate Leadership. In one year, he has achieved what it has taken others 20 years to achieve. His amazing success at helping to empower leaders to work and live passionately, has resulted in him being nicknamed, ‘Mr. Passion’. On his talk show, Passion Sundays, Moustafa has interviewed over 180 world thought leaders.

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Most Influential Person

  • My Swami in India who's been in caves for 13 years.

Effect on Emotions

  • It has helped me to be more observant of my emotions. I am very passionate so when I'm upset, I'm very upset. When I'm having a bad day, I'm having a very bad day.
  • I do everything with passion. Being more mindful has allowed me to be more observant and slowly I have learned to be less judging of my emotions.
  • I'm no longer in that space of, you have to be mindful means you shouldn't be angry. I don't agree to that.  If I'm angry, I'm angry, cause guess what, if somebody smashes into my car, I'm gonna be angry.
  • I've learned to accept my anger as a natural reaction and watch it till it just goes up and it comes down again rather than try to fight it because when I was fighting it before, it made it more difficult. Now, I'm just present and watching. That means acceptance.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Breathing is everything. Let me put it this way, if you cease to breathe, you cease to exist. So the ultimate mindfulness is the ultimate breathing.
  • I learned that when I did vipassana, the Buddhist meditation technique that Buddha used to get enlightened which is simply the induction course.
  • They put us in a hall for ten days and all we do is observe our breathing. Every single morning I wake up and I do twenty minutes of vipassana.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • The most bullied people in life, are bullies themselves. People who have been bullied at home or at some stage in their life, have an adverse protective reaction.
  • In a way I feel empathetic with them because they had to go through a particular experience and maybe they were bullied at home and they go back to school and they take it out on their friends at school. Bullies exist everywhere in our lives.
  • I just want to be clear, most of us are also bullies in one way, shape or form. I don't want anybody to get self-righteous here, including myself.
  • We do bully certain people, certain ways. A lot of times we do it passively rather than aggressively.
  • If somebody's in a place of power or fame, we can easily bully somebody much easier than someone else who has to force themself.
  • If we're present, bullying will become a lot calmer. We can calm ourselves first and then let the other person be calm. In the end, with bullying, there is a certain reason why they are doing what they're doing.
  • I've been bullied when I was back in Syria. I was about sixteen. I ended up in a fight, me and my friends where we fought with kids of military officers and these kids went and got seventeen soldiers to beat us up with chains.
  • For a period [of time], that killed me, because I felt oppressed. This is beyond bullying. That incident gave me a drive to move out of Syria and explore a better future somewhere else. If it hadn't been for that incident, I would have still been living there and I wouldn't be who I am today.
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258 Elder Care Meets Mindfulness With Legal Expert Nicole Wipp

October 5, 2017

Nicole Wipp is a lawyer who specializes in elder law. She is a professional planner on a mission to empower people at all stages of life to take control of two issues: health details and end of life arrangements. She is a speaker who addresses the legal aspects of these topics and she is also the author of the book, “Dear Mom and Dad; Help Me Help You”. Nicole has survived being diagnosed with a rare, debilitating disease, an experience that has changed the way she views life and death.

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Most Influential Person

  • Joel Walden

Effect on Emotions

  • I'm prone to anxiety just as I think a lot of people are. Mindfulness has really enabled me to conquer that and to be able to take a step back and allow myself to get out of that mode.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I couldn't tell you more about how important breathing is. If you don't understand that, that's just a 101. Breathing is huge. I do yogic breathing to increase the health and capacity of my lungs and I also do it for my mindful state.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I experienced bullying as a child, definitely. In fact, when I was in my first year of high school, I literally had to get in fistfights to protect myself from bullies in my school.
  • You think about girls doing that kind of thing, but it's a real thing. I used to get in literal fistfights because I had to.
  • I didn't have a choice; either I got beat or I engaged. For me, that was something that made me stronger. They can be a very big source of despair.
  • I don't recommend letting that be the place that makes you stronger.  In business, I will tell you that in my niche, I definitely have other competitors that would much prefer me to be down in business.
  • One of the things that I've done to avoid that; I just don't pay attention to my competition.
  • So many people in business will say, pay attention to what your competition is doing. I actually find that for multiple reasons, that is not good business advice.
  • I don't pay attention to my competition, I don't pay attention to what they're doing, to what they're saying and I just run my business in a way that works for myself and my team. By doing that we've actually done very well. We've been extremely successful and then I don't worry about those things.
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257 Experience The Entrepreneur House with Host Chris Reynolds

October 2, 2017

Chris Reynolds is a digital nomad and founder of The Entrepreneur House where Entrepreneurs from the world over get together to collaborate, produce and execute their creative business initiatives. Chris is currently based in a mountain paradise in Thailand and he has also hosted guests in Barcelona, Spain  In the past Chris has lived in such places as Costa Rica, Peru, England, Netherlands, and Switzerland. Chris is originally from Missouri, U.S.A.

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Most Influential Person

  • My Mother

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness helps me manage my emotions and to know that the low times are just temporary and how I'm reacting from those emotions.
  • Also from the high times, knowing those are temporary.
  • [Mindfulness also helps] to keep myself in check and not become too arrogant or egotistical.
  • [It also helps] to realize that it's important to be mindful that life has highs and lows. That can keep you on a good wave length with continually growing and figuring out what's next.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I use breathing when I meditate and I think that gets me centered a lot.
  • I realize when my emotions are out of balance, when I'm getting more stressed or frustrated, or when anger comes up, I use breathing to either let go of that, or find a center grounding.
  • If I ever have trouble sleeping, I use breathing exercises to drift off to sleep. That really helps me find a center of focus where I can focus on my goals and work toward my dreams and be aware of how I'm treating others at the same time.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I was bullied as a kid and I bullied as a kid. Growing up, through that experience I definitely was not aware of what I was doing or the effects of what I was doing or how it was really affecting me.
  • Me being bullied, that part even affects me today. Me doing the bullying doesn't affect me so much.
  • The one person in particular; I've actually tried to reach out to that person to apologize and make it even. I think becoming aware through personal development made me really realize how hurtful that is to children and how it really impacts them.
  • I can think of three individuals who bullied me growing up and how I still feel about them today. One of them is now a good friend and has been for fifteen years or so.
  • The earlier days when I was being bullied by him; I still think about that exact moment, what happened and how hurtful it was. And also, in retaliation and in order to fit in, the bullying on my part was sent off to somebody else.
  • I think it's very important to teach our kids mindfulness and to become aware of how your behavior is affecting others. That would prevent a lot of that [bullying]. If we have children and parents that are aware of this type of behavior, it would really change the world.
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256 New Media Summit; Behind The Scenes With Steve Olsher

September 30, 2017

Steve Olsher helps you get crystal clear on your what; the one thing YOU were created to do. Steve is the New York Times, best-selling author of What Is Your What?: Discover The One Amazing Thing You Were Born To Do. He is also the author of the internet technology book of the year called Internet Profits. Not only is Steve a speaker and an author, he's a world class coach, he's a wizard at teaching how the on-line world can create profit. He's the chairman and founder of Liquor.com. Steve's most recent live event in San Diego is called the New Media Summit where he used his genius to line up forty successful podcasters with 150 people who were thirsty to be promoted on-line as podcast guests. This was a world-class event.

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Most Influential Person

  • My wife.

Effect on Emotions

  • For a long time I was actually pretty on the level in terms of not a lot of crazy highs and not a lot of crazy lows and that sort of thing.
  • Over the past 10 or 15 years or so I've really been able to experience tremendous highs and tremendous lows as well.
  • I think that the depression and darkness that I found myself in back in 2013 when I really felt like it was time to throw in the towel on everything. I think it has to do with expanding the mind into areas where I wasn't able to go prior to that. It's an interesting double-edged sword.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I have become much more aware of breath and the importance of breathing. Even over the last few years, I think it's one of those things that is only born out of maturity. There's something to that.
  • From my experience as a speaker and a coach and just being in business in general, it really boggles my mind how one very deep breath can completely reset everything. That's a fairly new phenomenon with me; to become that aware.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I've got lots of bullying stories.  The biggest bully I've ever had in my life would be my older brother. He's six years older than me. We haven't spoken ... let's put it this way; my wife and I have been married for 20 years and she's never met him. Reality is that he is the single biggest bully that I ever had to contend with in my life, physically and emotionally abusive as well.
  • As we get older we become more clear on the life that we want to create for ourselves and eliminate people, places and things from our life that don't serve us well.
  • I recently had a business partnership with someone that's fairly well known in the internet marketing space and I remember a couple of times during that partnership where he really lost his stuff, he really lost his mind. He had big, huge kind of screaming tantrums. The first one was on the phone. I'm not saying that he was wrong with what he was upset about but his presentation of how he was expressing what he was upset about really just manifested as a big, huge, screaming hissy fit. I just kind of chalked it up to, maybe it was just a bad day.
  • Everybody has their off moments. About a month later we were at the Traffic and Conversion Conference and if you know Ryan Deiss's company, they had this big event called Traffic and Conversion and there are thousands of people there.
  • It is a pretty large event. It's held at a fairly large venue, a hotel in this case. We were in a public area of the hotel, a little bit off to the side. There was an issue with something related to a launch of a new program that we were working on and we were coming up on the deadline for that launch and there were a few things that needed to be done.
  • He's kind of a control freak about things and my understanding of something was that it was waiting for his review and approval and his understanding was different. When I had said, we're waiting on his approval, he just basically had this huge blow up. And what that looked like was, he literally stands up and is towering over me with his finger in my face and he's just literally yelling at the top of his lungs, basically, just really losing his stuff.
  • I like to think I have a pretty long fuse. Back in the day, not so much. But nowdays, it takes a lot for me to lose it.
  • I've been training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for the better part of 16 years. I've got a lot of friends who fight in the UFC. I've been around that world for the better part of two decades. If push comes to shove, I'm not going to simply back down from you, and that's kind of where we went.
  • I just was like, whoa, this is not happening; not here, not now, not ever. I stood up, and so now we're face to face on this thing and basically, being the more calm of the two, I literally just stood up, looked at him as I needed to look at him, and walked away. I called him the next day and said, look, it's fairly clear that the writing is on the wall here. We're done. And I will tell you right now that we're done.
  • We'll finish up this launch and we'll launch this program and that's where it's going to end. And I will tell you that, for the better part of the last 15 years, I've eliminated people from my life who treat me like that because that's not how I will stand to be treated. I do not have people in my life who treat me like that.
  • He's not going to be a continuing part of my life for any period of time past this launch and quite frankly, if he ever gets up in my face like that again, we're not just going to be talking at that point. I promise you, point blank, as clear as I can make it.
  • And so it was one of those conversations where he tried just basically saying, oh yeah, let's get you grounded, you seem upset. And just doing this whole spiritual bend on me and basically I'm just like, you are the least spiritual person I've ever met in my life. You are the least grounded person I've ever met in my life and frankly you're the biggest hypocrit of anyone I've ever met in my life.
  • So we're done and I will just simply say this. I don't think you know who I am if you think that's something that I'm capable of tolerating, because I'm not.
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255 Reclaim Your Happiness; Learn How From Jacqui Letran

September 28, 2017

Jacqui Letran is a multiple award-winning author and a vibrant, passionate thought leader, mentor and speaker. She has helped thousands of teens and youth turn their lives around by changing their mindset to one where they truly believe success and happiness are possible, regardless of their current circumstances. Trained as a Nurse Practitioner, Jacqui has made full use of her life experience and training to successfully transform clients. Jacqui just returned from the Great American Book Festival and Literary Classics' Book Award Ceremony to receive a Gold Medal for her book, "5 Simple Questions to Reclaim Your Happiness". The book also won a Silver Medal from the Readers Favorite category.

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Most Influential Person

  • Robin Duncan (My mentor)

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has effected my emotions - everything. Right now, I'm living in North Carolina and by Sunday, big hurricane Irma might hit North Carolina and I can get drawn into that negativity and that fear, or I can stay mindful and present, stay calm and prepare for it and make decisions that are going to be more beneficial for me and not have a knee-jerk reaction out of fear.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Breathing is everything. Your breath is your life force.
  • When you take that moment to connect to your life force, things change. The physiology in your body changes when you're taking that time to slow down and be intentional with your breath.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • [In my book], I share my stories of being the 'bullier' to other people and I also briefly share how I was bullied in the medical setting. As a teenager I was seeking help, I was scared and rather than having any kind of support or compassion, I was bullied. I was made to feel even worse about myself.
  • Those are two examples of how I bullied others and how other people bullied me. I want to present something that I don't think a lot of us think about as often as we should.
  • That is, we are our biggest bulliers. Everything that I experienced back then was because of me. I was the one who said, 'I'm stupid', to me. I was the one who said, 'Don't do it, you're not good enough'. 'You don't fit in'. 'You are inferior'.
  • I was telling myself all of that and I told myself that so much that I believed it. I would love for people to just pause for a moment and think about how you've been bullying yourself and what you can do to stop that.
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254 Conquer Your Food Demons With Help From Lorraine Crowston

September 25, 2017

Lorraine Crowston is a certified life coach, a speaker and an author and is particularly interested in helping people deal with their food demons. Lorraine has worked as a chef, a computer network instructor, a trainer and a project manager. Lorraine Crowston has bundled all of her life experiences into a package where she helps people achieve physical and emotional health in playful, easy-to-follow steps. Her book, 'The Devil's Food Cake Made Me Do It', is a great example of Lorraine's unique way of viewing life and helping people.

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Most Influential Person

Jenny McKee (One of the women I do a lot of networking with)

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has caused me to be a kinder, gentler person. I don't have to be the manager. I don't have to be the hard, make-all-the-decisions person. It's been a lovely journey. I'm really liking being able to sit back and just take it easy.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Breathing is so interesting because I've just finished doing an audio book. It's the audio version of my book. I've taken a voice acting coach and I also do Yoga. Breathing is part of all of those things.
  • When you're recording an audio book, you try not to breathe too loudly because it will pick it up and it has to be cleaned up later. But when you're doing Yoga, it's a totally different thing. You're making sure you totally focus on the breath.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I was the smallest kid in the class. I don't term it quite so much as bullying, but I was definitely teased quite a bit. I was very fortunate, because I was the youngest of six, so once I got home I was safe.
  • I had a whole crew of people around me that kept me safe. It was my safe haven. I think that a lot of the times, I look back and think about these people who had bullied me or teased me at the time and I sometimes wonder what was going on in their household.
  • If they are feeling powerless at home, this is their was to regain power and so they're going to look for the person that they think is the most vulnerable and bully them. Unfortunately what happens, in my case it didn't work. I had five older siblings that picked on me.
  • What I think happens is that they look for the most gentle soul who won't fight back. That's really a shame because these poor gentle souls are the ones who take the hit a lot more. They don't have that hard core to fight back and so it is much more damaging to them than what may have happened to me when I was growing up.
  • My mom stopped protecting me and so I had to fight my own battles, so in a way, internally in my own house, I had to stand up for myself or find the means to navigate through the whole family dynamics. I had the tools for it.
  • Imagine if I had been an only child where I'm closeted and maybe a gentle soul and I wouldn't have received those tools to sorta say, hold on, I'm not going to be your victim, I'm not going to take the bullying. Back off. Then you get those very bad situations.
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253 The Power of Having Fun With Dave Crenshaw

September 21, 2017

Dave Crenshaw is the master of building productive leaders and has transformed hundreds of thousands of business leaders worldwide. He has appeared in TIME magazine, USA Today, FastCompany, and the BBC News. His courses on LinkedIn Learning have received millions of views. He has written three books and counting, including The Myth of Multitasking which was published in six languages and is a time-management bestseller. His fourth book, The Power of Having Fun, releases September 19th, 2017.

Contact Info

Most Influential Person

  • Steven Covey (Author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People)

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has given me a lot more stability from someone who does not naturally have that kind of stability. The focus of mindfulness creates the stability of emotion.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Breathing is not as much of my mindfulness as it should be, but I am aware of it and when I do it, it is helpful. I use counting more than breathing. And the power of the logic of the numbers to steady my thoughts back down.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I've got two stories and they're both related. I grew up as somebody who, at least I feel, was bullied quite a bit. Part of that is the personality. Part of that is that I grew up in an environment at home where I was subject to a lot of emotional and verbal abuse, constantly, and so I did a lot of things at school which were ways to get attention and ways to get people to like me that were just not normal.
  • And so it put a target on my back and it was really hard for me to deal with. What I gained from that personally was empathy for others. I really strongly dislike when I see others getting judged or diminished because they are different.
  • Bring that to just last week. My son is twelve and is just starting Junior High. All of us who have been through that experience know how difficult that can be. He's a really good kid and he's also really sensitive. I said to him, Straton, I want to tell you something that I wish someone had told me going into Junior High.
  • I said, 'You are going to see kids doing things that are rude, they're going to say things to you that are not nice. What I want you to understand is, they are all just trying to figure it out. They don't know what's right and what's wrong. They don't even know what kind of a person they want to be yet. So when you see that, don't take it personally. It's so easy to think, oh, they're picking on me. But instead, just say, that's somebody just trying to figure it out, and just go, there it is.
  • Just be nice to them and move on, because my experience is, those same people who acted like that, the majority of them, ten to twenty years from now, they regret the way that they acted, or they completely forget about it and they become people who are well-adjusted, nice, kind adults.  And so, my perspective is, we need not take that personally when those kinds of things happen. That's just part of other people going through the process of learning and growing.
  • I had it happen to me this week. I had somebody send me a nasty message about my book. The initial reaction is to personalize it and say, I'm going to be offended by this. But what I did was, I flipped it around. I thought, what if I said that to him in the workplace.
  • Usually I don't respond to this, but for some reason I decided to respond. And so I said to him, 'Imagine if I came into your workplace and I said that to you, over your shoulder. Can you feel how ugly that moment would be?
  • And If I saw someone say that to you, I would tell them to stop. Because I believe in you. As a human being, you should not be treated like that.
  • So if people are treating you like that, I'm sorry that that's happening. I think a lot of times, if people lash out like that, they're doing that because other people are treating them that way or because they feel insecure about their life. So the approach I tried to take as an adult, is to turn it around and say, I support you; I care about you.

 

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