219 Get Unstuck; Learn How From Shira Taylor Gura

May 25, 2017

Shira Taylor Gura is an expert at helping people get unstuck. She’s a well-being coach and author of ‘Getting unSTUCK  - Five Simple Steps to Emotional Well-Being’ and she believes fear and desire are huge factors causing people to feel stuck. Trained in Psychology and Occupational Therapy, Shira uses what she’s learned in those areas and through personal experiences to help others. She is a firm believer that it’s important to learn to give your brain a break and she helps others through her blog, keynote speaking and on-line course.   Shira lives with her husband and four children in a small community in Israel.

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Most Influential Person

  • My two Aunts who practice mindfulness.

Effect on Emotions

  • I don't think mindfulness has affected my emotions at all.
  • I think my emotions are my emotions and they're going to always be my emotions. I'm going to always be completely full of emotions till I die. I think what mindfulness has done is learn how to react to my emotions; how to allow myself to feel my emotions instead of run away from them and trying to resist them and cover them up.
  • This practice has helped me to say it's okay to be emotional.
  • You have emotions, then feel your emotions, you're human.
  • Now take responsibility and see how you're going to be in the world with those emotions.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Breathing is the anchor to be present. When I'm teaching a yoga class, I encourage my students to make their breath audible. When they hear their breath, it's a reminder to come back.
  • That's basically what the whole practice of mindfulness is. It's constantly coming back to this moment.
  • If we're living in the past; if we're living in the future, we're not being mindful.
  • The breath is an awesome tool that you carry around with you; it's directly under your nose. You can use it anywhere. Nobody knows that you're using it and it anchors you into this moment.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I would like to share a story of how I was actually bullying myself. This is something I find myself doing more often than I would expect.
  • I was in a situation where I needed to be out of my home and my husband wasn't going to be around. I have four kids and my three older kids also weren't going to be around. I needed help with my six-year-old.
  • We live in a very small community and oftentimes our kids are inside other people's homes and we're constantly kind of co-parenting. It's very common and it's very fun and it's easy.
  • So I picked up the phone and I asked one of my friends if they could please watch my son whose six. Just for one hour .... (tune into the interview to hear the rest of the story).
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218 Laugh, Learn and Awaken With JP Sears

May 22, 2017

JP Sears is a deeply spiritual thought leader with an intense sense of humor. You may have experienced his mindful comedy if you’ve seen any of his viral videos focusing on essential oils, the joys of being gluten intolerant, being vegan, the wonderful uses of coconut oil and more. According to his book, ‘How To Be Ultra Spiritual’, we’re taught that he was sent to our planet by God-fearing atheists to create videos to share hidden secrets only being revealed now, after the passing of centuries of time. I am thrilled and delighted to welcome JP Sears to the Mindfulness Mode podcast.

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Most Influential Person

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has allowed me to embrace [my emotions] more.
  • I don't know that my emotions have changed from mindfulness, but my relationship to my emotions has changed for the more intimate.
  • For the first couple of decades of my life, I was mostly numb. So much was going on under the surface that I was unaware of it rationally. Also emotionally I was unaware of my emotional realities.
  • Mindfulness helps me acknowledge what is, and I think the old Zen path of contentment; accepting things as they are without the need to change that and without the need for them to be otherwise.
  • I'm not perfect, I'm clumsy at best, but it's [mindfulness is] a nice help.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Oftentimes I'll have a post-it note [on my desk] that just says breathe.
  • I think breathing is a fascinating biofeedback tool. It tells us what's going on in our body but what's more important it tells us what's going on in our mind and maybe even in our relationship to what's beyond our mind.
  • When I notice my breathing being shallow, caught up, I'm taking things too seriously, I'm getting stressed out. That's my mindfulness cue to become more mindful.
  • Becoming mindful of my lack of mindfulness is a powerful step to becoming more mindful at core levels so noticing shallow breathing. I feel it in my neck. It's just so obvious when we just remind ourselves to look for it so breathing helps me become mindful of my lack of mindfulness.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I think bullying is severe abuse disguised as 'just the way it is'.  We're looking to free kids and honestly adults too, but looking to free kids from this sort of silent secrecy that we consent to where it's like I am trapped by bullying and I can't tell on anybody because that means I'll be bullied more.
  • Kids need a way out. Life is too short to not be free.
  • Telling a child, well, just be yourself and don't worry about it; that's amazing advice but functionally useless.
  • Children need more help because this is a real issue present day. It would just be a joy if, in a short amount of time, we just wake up and this is not an issue anymore, find something else to spend your time on. That would be amazing.
  • I did have experience with bullying. As a kid I wasn't constantly picked on by any means, I won't pretend that was my case but there were definitely times when I was being bullied and this feels crummy.
  • The biggest one that stands out was, I was on the football team in the first year of high school.
  • It was my freshman year and before school started we were in the weight room and one of the older guys just started belittling me.
  • Honestly, I went into a shell for the next two years. I didn't really comprehend that I was going into a shell because I felt so much shame. I wanted to avoid being shamed like this again.
  • I couldn't recognize that at the time, but now that I look back it's like, wow, I did that.
  • I was living in an avoidance posture which [caused me to] become way more introverted than I actually am. Way less outgoing than I actually am.
  • In other words avoiding being authentic. Did I avoid some future bullying reoccurrences? Maybe, but what it really cost me was being myself and probably making connections with a lot of other people.
  • Then also there were times, not often, but certainly some times, that stick out in my mind where I was acting bullying out on other people.
  • At those times I would use humor to hurt people. It's sometimes easy to do that. The easiest laughs are always the cheapest and most hurtful.
  • Because everybody's laughing, sometimes even the person I'm hurting is laughing. It's easy to, in the moment, convince myself that we're just having fun. It's like, no. Looking back I can realize, I'm acting out a sense of power over this person to compensate for how powerless I feel inside.
  • I think any time someone is bullying someone else, it is a hurt person trying to hurt someone else so that they can have a temporary sense of escaping their hurt.
  • Psychologically, if I can make you the hurt one, Bruce, then for a short amount of time, I believe that you're the hurt one, so I'm not the hurt one. I don't have hurt because, look how much you're hurting.
  • Honestly, the times that that would happen, I developed so much shame about that, that I hurt someone else, that it taught me not to do that. I think there is such a thing as healthy shame.
  • Healthy shame [is when it] feels so crummy to do this that painful shame is a great teacher to not do that crummy thing again.
  • It helps teach us to do it a better way. Shaming people has taught me not to shame people. It's really taught me well; the power of how to use humor to help, not harm. How to use humor to acknowledge and heal pain and accept it, rather than project pain, which is to reject pain and trying to get away from it inside.
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217 Use Mindfulness To Gain Power and Opportunity Suggests Pamela Gold

May 18, 2017

Pamela Gold is a deeply spiritual and insightful thought leader. She’s been called a Modern Day Yoda, providing deep wisdom and inspiration to all who have an opportunity to connect with her. Pamela’s childhood was spent on the family farm in upstate New York and later she graduated from Yale University; entered the business world and met success at the young age of 24.  After pausing to have a family, she then co-founded West Village Parents and went on to pursue her passion for fitness and wellness. Yoga became a new focus in her life and it connected her love of philosophy, science, psychology, and wellness, and eventually led her to discover her life's work: teaching inner peace as the key to our greatest evolution and ultimately, world peace.

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Most Influential Person

  • My kriya yoga teacher, Yogacharya Don Abrams, affectionately called "Don Baba".

Effect on Emotions

  • The more mindful we can be, the more we have a buffer between how we originally were going to react and how we chose to respond.
  • Feeling angry, feeling sad, feeling our emotions ... that is never bad. Those feelings are always teaching us something; it's always an opportunity to learn.
  • The question is, how do we handle them? What are we going to do with that energy?
  • So, the more mindfulness that I have, the more power that I have moment to moment.
  • As I get triggered, I can use that as an opportunity. Own that opportunity to learn and to grow instead of pushing it out, blaming someone else, reacting in a way that's destructive to someone else.
  • At the end of the day, our relationships are based on trust so if we act out of these negative emotions and blame someone else for how we feel, we're going to be undermining the strength of our relationships.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Breathing and our mind go hand in hand. On my website, I share a breathing guide. While we sometimes feel that we can't control our minds, we can always control our breath.
  • One of the things I learned in yoga school, and that I've played with and refined, is how, by focusing on different parts of our breath, we can kind of control and hack how our mind is handling something.
  • By keeping our breath even, we keep our mind even.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I think every child is going to face time when people are unkind. Someone is putting their own feelings ahead of someone else's.
  • Everything that I've learned up to this point has influenced my parenting. My children come home with stories about times when people are unkind.
  • One of the mantras I've taught them has been that it is never cool to be rude or to be unkind as they face, perhaps another child that is excluding them and being unkind and perhaps trying to make themselves feel better by being unkind.
  • Using this awareness that, no matter how imperfect we are in any given moment, you always can learn from the situation that you could have handled something more skillfully, with more grace, with more compassion yourself. But if someone is being unkind to you, that's on them.
  • When I was in fifth grade, I had a friend .... it was the end of the year party and there was this whole thing where we weren't going to have the party at her house, we were going to have the party at our house. I started to see that she was getting her feelings hurt, so I told her what was going on.
  • I kind of betrayed the confidence of my other friends in doing so. Understandably, my other friends were upset with me. That spiraled into some of my friends being very cruel and it was very hurtful.
  • At the time I didn't have the awareness to recognize that I could have done things better. If someone's being cruel or unkind, that's on them.
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216 The Messengers Documentary Is About Story Explains Filmmaker Niel Guilarte

May 15, 2017

Niel Guilarte is the owner of Wild Style Media in Tampa Florida, which is an award-winning, high-end video and production company. Niel is also host of the All Things Post podcast, founding member of the Florida Podcasters Association and co-organizer of Podfest Multimedia Expo with Chris Krimitsos. Niel is also a podcast launch coach and speaker

Message from Niel to Mindful Tribe: You Can Do Whatever You Want  To Do. My biggest life lesson was someone telling me, you shouldn't do more than one thing. NOT listening to that advice is why I am currently enjoying some of the best days of my life. Please don't ever give up on what you want to do. Be mindful of how you do it, but do EVERYTHING that you want to do.

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Most Influential Person

  • My father

Effect on Emotions

  • I think I control them better now because I'm mindful of my emotions. Before, I let my emotions control me a lot.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • That's [breathing] a new one for me. I just recently started doing that; controlling my breathing, closing my eyes, counting to 10, those type of small simple steps. It really calms me down. I never realized [the difference].
  • I apply that [mindful breathing] now; late at night when I'm editing I sort of balance myself and then I keep moving and that's been working great.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • When I was a kid I was jumped a few times for liking and doing the things that I do and being told I should only focus on one thing.
  • I was bullied verbally and sometimes physically, as kids are. Back then we didn't know that's what it was called.
  • As much as people shouldn't bully, the amount you allow is sort of in your power. This is where I rely on the Christian side, making me a stronger man so that I tolerate less bullying. I allow a little less in.
  • That doesn't mean that people don't force themselves, but people tend to not bully you as much when you have a certain level of confidence about yourself.
  • When I worked for the police department, I learned that you are somewhat the reason you got robbed because you had your head down or you were distracted. You give clues to people to harm you.
  • If you walk like you are a confident person, and you walk alert, you are a little less likely to become a victim.
  • I say in life, if you want to be bullied less, ordered around less, manipulated less, be more confident in yourself and in what you believe in whatever that is, then you'll be less likely to allow it.
  • It is to some degree, a little bit in our control; not all of it. Just a little bit.
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215 Protect Your Heart and Give Value Says Nicholas Kusmich

May 11, 2017

Nicholas Kusmich is one of the planet’s most successful and well-known facebook Advertising experts. He knows exactly how to help businesses scale revenue by using FB advertising to get more clients. He has his own unique system called “Contextual Congruence” which is based on his deep understanding of human mindset and social behavior and consequently what triggers people to click on an ad and eventually buy. This translates into the fact that Nicholas Kusmich has a deep and profound understanding of mindfulness. Nicholas has recently written the book: GIVE: The Ultimate Guide To Using Facebook Advertising to Generate More Leads, More Clients, and Massive ROI.

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Most Influential Person

  • Life Experience

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has 100 percent affected my emotions.
  • I believe emotions are part of life and I think emotions are designed to be experienced in the fullness of it.
  • So when I'm angry, I'm angry; when I'm happy, I'm happy. I'm not trying to suppress any of that.
  • Being mindful; being aware that I'm not in the best of moods right now definitely allows you to prevent you from doing things you probably would regret and allows you to process those emotions a lot faster so you can be back into the state that you want to be.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • For the longest time, I didn't think breathing was all that important to anything.
  • In reality, I think in the times when I literally need to slow down, I literally slow down my breath.
  • I take some conscious breaths rather than unconscious breaths. In doing so, I find that it definitely affects everything about how I feel about slowing down, about getting to the pace that I need to be at, at that time.
  • Breath and spirit are the same word interchangeably in the Hebrew and the Greek which I find completely fascinating.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I'll talk about bullying in the sense of having people try to persuade you to do something you don't want to do.
  • Bullying from the perspective of not everyone liking you and having something to say about that.
  • My whole life, even to this day there are a lot of people that don't like me and they have the internet to share that with others.
  • For the most part, I try to ignore it. I think feeding on that type of energy is not something that would serve me or others.
  • I just try to take a few steps back to try to be mindful of the situation.
  • I think, a) is there truth to this? And b) Is the person that's speaking, vile to me, maybe there's a reason that has nothing to do with me. Maybe it has something to do with a life situation or a hurt they're going through.
  • There's a quote that says: "Hurt people, hurt people." I do my best to see the greater picture of things and realize it's probably not personal and there may be something going on with that person and also, maybe there is a lesson to be learned.
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214 Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin; Muscle Prodigy Co-Founder Jaret Grossman

May 8, 2017

Jaret Grossman is highly skilled in guiding and advising others. In fact, he’s in a personal development league of his own, which is way up there on the upper echelon of spectacular business consultants and mindset coaches. Jaret’s brilliant insight is illuminated in many of his Youtube videos which have received over 30 million views. Jaret is known as one of New York’s best wrestlers, he holds a law degree, and he also has a health and fitness brand called Muscle Prodigy. Jaret has written a book called Cracking The Code, which has helped thousands of readers get their lives on track.

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Most Influential Person

  • My parents / Tony Robbins / Max (a wrestling mentor) / Parker (College Wrestling Coach)

Effect on Emotions

  • When you get to a point you realize that you're doing the same patterns over and over again. Then you realize that it's painful.
  • It's only when you learn to break free from the patterns that you'll experience peace. The only way to do that is mindfulness. Being consciously aware of; I feel this thing and I normally do this. Why?
  • The real root is the why. Why are you doing it? Is there a reason? Is it serving you? Is it not serving you? If you really dig deep, the layers of the why ... there is this breakthrough moment that it's like, why? And you can shift it. Then you can start implanting a new pattern that's more beneficial to you.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • Most of us breathe shallow and into our chest.
  • It's a shortened breath and that's usually the same breathing as someone who is anxious & tense all the time. Fear driven. It's shallow breaths.
  • If you could do the reverse where as you breathe deep into your belly, now you're going to be much more relaxed and calm.
  • When we talk about alpha, it's about alpha male, alpha female. It's really coming from brain waves. Alpha is actually an alertness with a calm to it also.
  • That's sort of the mode you want to be in on a daily basis. That's when you're in control; when you're alert but you're calm.

Suggested Resources

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213 Social Media Mindfulness With Melinda Wittstock

May 4, 2017

Melinda Wittstock is an entrepreneur, journalist, and wonderful example of a mindful person. She runs a company called Verifeed, which uses story and true authenticity to help engage and convert new customers. She not only keeps her company running smoothly, she’s also a traveler, dog owner, and incredible mom. While keeping all these balls in the air, she has a regular routine that includes meditation, exercise, ample sleep, and a generous amount of time with friends.

Contact Info

  • Website: www.Verifeed.com
  • Special Offer: Free Consultation With Melinda Text the word 'Tribal' to 44222 We will help you find your believer tribe. This is for anyone wanting to learn more about how to use Social Intelligence to advance their business.
  • Email: info@verifeed.com

Most Influential Person

  • Trish Whynot, Therapist. Also Brene Brown, author.

Effect on Emotions

  • Level. Like not being guided by emotions. Realizing that emotions are not me. Thoughts are not me, they're passing things. I don't feel like I'm ruled by my emotions. I'd like to think of mindfulness as consciousness.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • That's huge. Just being able to relax and being observant and in the moment. Breathing is critical.  Ujjaji breath is a type of deep breathing I got into through yoga. With the 'Whole Aponopono' I've been doing there is a kind of box breath, where you breathe in and you hold it and then you're breathing out and you're holding it and it becomes meditative.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I was the kid who was different in every way you could possibly imagine. I was the first kid to have divorced parents in my neighborhood and it made me very sensitive.
  • Some of my report cards say that I would just cry. Well, of course, because my whole life was just crazy back then.
  • I was also the tallest kid and kind of skinny. I competed in figure skating which meant that I missed a lot of school. So I was different on these accounts.
  • I used to get bullied and I used to have this sense of shame like there's something wrong with me. The issue with bullying is that it can last.
  • Speaking of limiting beliefs, that's the kind of thing that you can carry with you for your whole life.
  • It can leave you with the sense of 'I'm not enough' or 'I can't do it'; even if they're unconscious thoughts. These things sometimes happen very subtly.
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212 Transforming Lives With The Kindness Diaries Host, Leon Logothetis

May 1, 2017

Leon Logothetis is a global adventurer. He left behind the life of a stockbroker to break new ground and experience new discoveries. He’s now visited more than 50 countries and traveled to every continent on the planet. When anybody says the word kindness, I literally think of Leon - He’s the host of a terrific TV series called ‘The Kindness Diaries’, which has the subtitle; One Man’s Quest to Ignite Goodwill and Transform Lives Around the World. Before that, he had a show called the 'Amazing Adventures Of A Nobody', which follows Leon on his adventures travelling in America, The UK, and Europe on just $5, $5 pounds or $5 Euros a day. The bottom line is, Leon is all about kindness and helping others and of course that connects directly to the subject of mindfulness.

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Most Influential Person

  • A teacher I went with on a journey to India a couple of years ago.

[show-notes-influence]

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has affected my emotions by enabling me to become more balanced and more centered.  And by enabling me to make better decision and not be so reactive.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I never really realized the importance of breathing until I started doing mindfulness.
  • Often we forget, it sounds silly, but we forget to breathe.
  • I notice now as I give this talk, I'm actually breathing very shallowly. That's not good.  When I breathe as fully as possible, it kind of invigorates me.
  • Breathing is a really powerful and important part of mindfulness.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • As a kid, I felt very disconnected. At school I was bullied very badly. I had very few friends. I would go to school and feel profoundly alone.
  • Not just the kids were bullying, but the teachers as well, which I could never understand. It was very disempowering.
  • I made a commitment to myself that I would do my very best never to disempower someone but to empower them.
  • When it comes to kindness, people at school specifically were unkind and I didn't understand. I thought, why are you doing this to me? Why are you behaving like this?
  • I made a commitment that I would give back to people, come from a place of love. That's really how it all began.
  • I could have dealt with this bullying better by sharing my pain with my parents and with other people that loved me, and I never did. Not until I was 16 or 17. When I started to share it, things started to shift.
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211 Change Your Thinking, Change Your Body With Lucia Ferraro

April 27, 2017

Lucia Ferraro is a people person; passionate about connecting, learning and growing. One of her specialties is weight loss and her mission is to build a community of women (and men) who have experienced sustainable weight loss by fostering good relationships with food and their bodies. She’ll help you use the power of your mind to change the way you think, so you can change the way you feel. Lucia has created a summit called Change Your Thinking, Change Your Body which will feature 28 speakers who focus not only on how to take care of our bodies, but how to have a healthier mind and spirit.

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Most Influential Person

  • Tony Robbins

[show-notes-influence]

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has helped me. The emotions that stand out are always the negative ones.
  • In this space that I'm in, I've reconciled just by talking to my mother's picture. I reconciled our relationship that I didn't see. I realized my role and responsibility in that.
  • Mindfulness has shifted everything even though she's passed. It was a moment of surrender. I released my mother from that.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • I breathe when I take time to meditate and I definitely breathe when I'm walking.
  • I will put on a certain song or instrumental music and I can focus in on my breathing and my tempo. I find that important even when I'm teaching my class.
  • There's a way to do it, like when we do abdominals. I'm always telling people, 'hold your abs like I'm going to punch you in the stomach'.
  • There's something about the way you need to breathe so that your body performs the way you want it to perform. Oxygen needs to go to your muscles so that you can do an aerobic activity

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • I personally wasn't bullied by an external source but I certainly bullied the crap out of myself.
  • It was the 'not enoughness' things. It was the quest for perfection. And the 'why can you get to that?'
  • I needed to attend to the self-care of me because I realized that I would be able to parent better and also take care of Lucia. I modelled what that needed to look like to my children.
  • I bullied myself in the thoughts; the thoughts were thugs.
  • The thoughts that could come up and nurture me, were pushed down for sure.
  • Everything comes down to nurturing and honoring yourself.
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210 Purposeful Millionaire Success Story with James Nowlin

April 24, 2017

James Nowlin is a successful businessman, author and mindful entrepreneur. At age 26 as a corporate attorney, he walked away from a six-figure practice as an attorney to start his own business, Excel Global Partners. Later he faced the challenge of dealing with the economic downturn, but forged ahead, becoming even stronger and wiser while growing the company to greater successes. In 2012 he barely made it through a near-death drowning accident on a stormy lake while kayaking with a friend. That was a major change-point in his life and he has not only become stronger, he now helps others live lives that are more purposeful, abundant, and epic than they ever imagined.

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Most Influential Person

  • Dr. Robert S. Brown (University of Virginia College Professor and Mentor)

Effect on Emotions

  • Mindfulness has affected my emotions in such a way that there is control. In business, I feel that I had a competitive advantage when it comes to negotiating because I bring mindfulness to the table. (See Thoughts on Breathing below).
  • So mindfulness is not about ignoring emotions or putting those emotions in your pocket, it's about controlling things for the situation. For me, it's manifested itself in such a way that I can take control of the situation and end up being in the position of power and the universe and others respond to me because of my control of those emotions.
  • I bring mindfulness to everything that I do in order to, not ignore emotions, but to tap in to a higher purpose and a greater understanding of how emotions can serve us. They can serve us very poorly or they can serve us very well. I want my emotions to serve me well.

Thoughts on Breathing

  • When somebody wants something out of a negotiation and I want something out of a negotiation, I will take a second at that boardroom table and breathe, to inhale for ten seconds, to hold it, to exhale for ten seconds.
  • To slow down my thought process and to move from the reactive which is in the emotional part of the brain to the rational side of the brain.
  • By doing that I am elevating the conversation and I'm changing the tone that I'm speaking in and the other person elevates their conversation and I'm changing  their tone. So the entire conversation changes.
  • Mindfulness in traffic means breathing as well. When someone cuts me off now, I can laugh, instead of wanting to curse or flick that person off. I even talk about road rage in the book and about distracted drivers.

Suggested Resources

Bullying Story

  • Mindfulness started for me at a very young age. The bullying taught me to be mindful.
  • Being in a household in which some of the circumstances were just dreadful forced me to be mindful. I didn't know what it was called back then but I knew that if I spent time alone, if I closed the door to the room, and if I just sat in silence, that something about me changed.
  • The vibrations within my body and the vibrations within my mind actually changed.
  • That practice has translated into other areas of my life including when I went to college I had the opportunity to study under Dr. Robert S. Brown who is a mentor to me to this day. 
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